God Strong: Chapter 4: The Military Wife's Spiritual Survival Guide

Chapter 4



I Am Not Alone

Spiritual Truth #3:

Handling being alone versus being lonely

As Military Wives we often find ourselves in situations when we are separated from our husbands for periods of time due to drills, trainings, deployments and other military duties.
We must be alone and we must face the emotions of handling being alone versus being overwhelmed with loneliness.   This is a time when we can count on holding tightly to our God Strong faith, as God has promised to never leave us alone.

Opening Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for who you are: The Alpha and the Omega, The Beginning and The End, Our Counselor, Our Mighty God. How perfectly your word lights our path in life as we trust and obey your commandments.  Help us to focus on you and to turn away from focusing on ourselves.  May we depend upon your wisdom, your guidance, and you’re never failing love as we face periods of dealing with life’s problems alone. Keep us from temptations and turn us away from self pity. Fill our marriages with joy, understanding and love. Teach us to celebrate the wisdom of your ways.
In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen

We can be alone and still feel whole when we rely on God’s strength to fill in the missing pieces of our hearts and lives.

God said, “My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.” Exodus 33:14

God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.’ Psalm 46:1

We know that God is ready and willing to remove our struggle and sorrow and replace them with joy and gladness; so why do we still struggle?  The battle is between our holding on to our human nature and our choosing to embrace God’s nature. When we are dealing with the issue of  loneliness –and deployment is a prime example- our human nature wants to focus inward.

With Human nature we say: “What did I do to deserve this?”

With God’s nature we say: “What is God doing in this?”

With Human nature we say: “I am weak because I am alone.”

With God’s nature we remember: “I am weak but God is strong.  I am not alone."

Focusing on self is the opposite of focusing on God.  When we take ourselves out of the way, the Holy spirit takes over, and brings calm to the chaos and contentment to our discontentment.  

Romans 8:6 say “The mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace.”

The key is to know daily where our focus lies.

Avoiding Self Pity

Many times our emotions will turn inward and we focus on ourselves, our loneliness, and our sadness creating self pity and withdrawal. 

Avoiding Temptation

  To escape self pity, loneliness, and sadness we may fall into the trap of self indulgences, shopping sprees, over-eating, and sexual temptations

Wives Guard Your Hearts:

To protect your heart, and your marriage, avoid emotional connections and deep conversations with the opposite sex. 

It is so easy for a woman who is suffering from a lack of attention and romance due to her husband’s deployment to be attracted to someone who begins to supply some of the attention and companionship that she is missing during her husband's absences.  This can lead her to be tempted to have an affair and ultimately destroy her marriage.

The lyrics to Steve Green's popular song: Guard Your Heart: 

(follow link to hear song )

What appears to be a harmless glance

Can turn to romance

And homes are divided

Feelings that should never have been

Awaken within

Tearing the heart in two

Listen, I beg of you!

Chorus:
Guard your heart, Guard your heart

Don't trade it for treasure

Don't give it away

Guard your heart, Guard your heart

As a payment for pleasure

It's a high price to pay

For a soul that remains sincere

With a conscience clear

Guard your heart

The human heart is easily swayed

And often betrayed

At the hands of emotion

We dare not leave the outcome to chance

We must choose in advance

Or live with the agony

Such needless tragedy

Chorus

Words and music by Jon Mohr. Copyright 1989 Birdwing Music. All rights reserved. 

International copyright secured. Used by permission.

Encourage Someone Else 

Let God use you during this time to encourage others.

Instead of turning your focus inward toward yourself, turn your focus outward towards others. Spend this time building new friendships. Go out of your way to encourage others. Become involved in group activities, church and community programs.  As you begin to share with others you will find the amazing way that God brings joy and fulfillment into your days.

We are the ones that will choose if we will be alone or lonely.


Building Our Tool Box:

Lies Young Woman Believe: "Putting Aside Shells": inauthenticity, fear, and selfishness.

 Alone in Marriage: Additional reading

Circumstances leave us alone, but not lonely.

We choose whether we are lonely when we decide to reach out to others or to stay to ourselves. Will we stop being willing to connect with God and with other people or will we find groups and activities we can be part of? Will we refuse to admit we need anyone, including God, or are we honest with ourselves and confess that we need help.

 

Comments/questions:

What can we share?

Thoughts and comments from Strength Trainers question
Words of Encouragement

Life Experiences

Testimonies of Praises

What we have learned

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So speak encouraging words to one another 1 Thes 5:11